1. |
Day One, Accelerated
01:06
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Everything I know to be true is just a show
Maybe I want to go?
I don’t want to go back to places I’ve already been
Oh, this is gonna be another one
This is gonna be another one
Oh ow, don’t you know?
Don’t you know?
Well
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go into the sky
Up into space
We will…
Fly (10x) on
We don’t wanna but we can’t stay
There’s nothing here on earth today
So we fly up into the sky
Obsessed with what’s outside of ourselves
We are creating an infinite complex of…
An infinite complex of simulations of pain
Now we’re outside again
And the pain creeps in
Oh
Oh how you wish
You could keep up the thoughts
You could
But you can’t
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2. |
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As it buckles up the earth with nothing more than a…
Sound of something that has been left unsaid for a thousand generations
I retain myself
As a nostalgic imagery that has been projected onto myself through my own pain
I feel pain again
It’s the only thing I feel
Or is that a cliche that I have told myself
And hence, has become the way reality has become
I, unfolding with myself- with myself in the back of my mind
I reserve the right to change everything at once
And that is my way…
This is my new way for a new day
And this is my new life for a new life
Or is it the same old nostalgia?
Projected onto myself through imagery of my own shame
I see myself pouring outwards and I try to understand the things that I don’t want to do anymore
I don’t want to do these things anymore
I just wanna be better and I wanna be stronger
And I wanna be better and I wanna be stronger
I wish I were anyone else besides myself!
And it bleeds out again
And I bleed out again
And I’m crying out again
And I try to feel emotions
And my sexuality becomes perverted in my own mind
I mind my own business and I don’t need to you think anything
Think I have the right to think thoughts that are not thinking themselves
Do I have the right to consider myself a new man?
Do I have the right to consider myself a woman?
Do I have the right to consider myself?
Ohh…
I return to my place of myself as placing itself
Into two places and three places at once
I call my mom, I call myself out and I know there was something to be thought about
And I cry to understand myself inside of itself and I do not know under there
Under there is no meaning
There’s no meaning
I don’t need any meaning
Am I?
Okay
Oh oh, uh oh, uh oh :’(
Oh oh, uh oh, uh oh :’(
Saturday dreaming
Saturday dreaming
A subverted form
This form has been subverted by it’s own likeness in a material context that is not spiritual
And spirituality is death
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3. |
Stereo
03:39
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I don’t need
And
E…
E…
Excessive
Excessive turmoil we, we...
We call ourselves by any name
That has been extracted upon this new dimensional spill of new realities internal to our times
Of projected manifolds of pornographic imagery
I find myself distracted by the eternal femininity of time
We cry…
WHY WHY WHY!
I call myself by any other name
By any other time
There was a space behind my eyes that felt sexual in its internal light
There was no more being in this space of existential meaning
There was only death and bleeding out my eyes for a thousand generations
Shame!
Ask yourself why do we feel such shame?
Are we alive or are we dead?
Are we human?
Are we we?
Are we a collective conscious-continuation of ourselves and our inner dreams?
AAAAA! OPEN MYSELF!
My body is my body is my fault!
I seek to exTRACT myself into a new sexual manifold
And in that way
We find ourselves again
We drive
Yeah
We drive on
Extracting time we fade
Our minds start to evade us
And we cannot escape our own indifference to this manifold of pornographic imagery
We have revisited the orbit of truth I have been extracting between the lines of fate
And my fate is behind everything I’ve created in my mind
Everything I’ve created in my mind
Stereo (1969): The danger inherent in the use of schizo-phonetic partitioning as a telepathic-intrusion-avoidance device is that the false self tends to become increasingly parasiding on the true aural-verbal self. The true self begins to suffocate inasmuch as it is starved of contact with the outside.
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4. |
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Oh
At the community center
A concert, playing for the bands and...
It was precisely at this time that I realised that perhaps I wasn’t going to get paid today
Perhaps I wasn’t going to get paid today, and my friends asked “why does that matter to you?”
Well…
No one knows me
If I go away
Go away tomorrow
I’ll need a little bit of a nestegg to keep me safe
But it was precisely at this time that I realised that perhaps I would be here for awhile
And it was perhaps at this time, precisely, that I began to reimagine life here forever and…
You love me
I want to beat on the drums all day and never make anyone to pay me
I just want to fit inside of any dang context I can squeeze out of this wretched machine
I see the world is ballet
(lay) down
And all I have is
All I have is myself
All I have is myself
All I have is me
God, why’s it me?
Calling
Why?
Why me?
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5. |
Silica and Other Things
01:41
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Honest
Steadfast
Over the mountain I look, oh
Yeah
She said to be-believe it when it comes to the back of my mind
Well, you find yourself in quite a sticky situation
And that’s nothing to be ashamed of
It really does happen to the best of us and there’s nothing you can do to control for it
No no no no no no
Power
Mobility
You say you’ll take me
I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you
And why should I trust- trust in you?
The Most Hated Shard: Hello! I’m Zach Kondak and this is my presentation on exploring gesture in robotic musicians. So, what’s the motivation behind this? So…
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6. |
Too Cool
02:27
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Here
Here we stand outside ourselves unsure if anything’s normal in the first place
So we look within our lives
Facing our own criticisms but…
I know nothing to be outside itself entirely
Entirely with all of our own fantasies of immaterial existence
As we die, we die by the roseheads
Distracted by what might be going on outside of our minds and the physical plane…
Nothing
No, nothing’s outside of what we are
No planet besides the earth beneath our feet
We cannot go to space anytime soon baby
My baby: where did you go?
Why don’t we just stay here?
Oh I don’t know my name anymore
Am I a human?
Our lives and time rises over
Over
Over again I forget where I am in reality
I’m so cool
I’m too cool for all of this
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7. |
Demons in Blood
03:09
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Bite! Oh god
Bites like nothing I’ve ever seen
I’ve ever seen
It was the time when nothing seemed so bright that left behind the night of nights
The darkest life I’ve lived
Breathing infinite death and sin
Behind the oceans of truth
The truth left behind
My house is a blind man
I am alive, aren’t I?
Aren’t I?
I die
Am alive, aren’t I
Aren’t I Demons in blood
Aren’t I? Yeah
Oh I- I am alive Demons in blood
Demmons
Demons in my blood
Demons in my
Bites like nothing I’ve ever seen before
My eyes are bleeding
I can’t see
I cannot see
I want to see
I want to see
I CANNOT
My life trapped behind the infinite night
Once live in reality
Nostalgic for things that have never been
In infinite reflections of this one tormented existence
And in this way we are tearing out our own hearts as we start
We start to cry
As we realize that we’re gods- each one of us- but in the worst possible way
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8. |
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Crusts of backwards time
Crusts of backwards time seek to hold me back
Imperfection bleeds within our lives
Forgotten in sin
Blown away from me and you
Away from me
Forgivene-
Forgiveness doesn't exist
Sad to watch my friends go
Imperfect
Imperfect eyes as my hate bleeds out
Fear of others’ imperfect ways
Fear of everyone
Fear of evil
Sin to hate no matter cause
The Most Saddened Shard: Sadly life doesn’t have eyes- maybe sad in my heart.
Well…
I- I- I am seeking
Yes I love you
Sad to watch you go away
Never saw
I never met
Fear you’d hate me
Erase such fears
My own hate
Hate in hateful images I’ve built
It’s sad to see
Well, sad to say there is no other
*Sigh*
The Most Confused Shard: yes I know, it’s sad to say there is no other. It’s hard to put all like love inside. Um, you know, ‘cause like all the [ ] I feel from others and uh… I hate my fear? So I think I should just…
Go away
I’ll go away
Oh it’s hard to watch you go away
Fear of others
Fear of evil
Hate is sin no matter cause or justification
The Most Confused Shard: Uh maybe? I don’t actually know the answer to that. Maybe… you know, maybe I love everyone? Or, there’s like a… maybe there’s some way of like ranking people in a way that… that doesn’t… I donno. Ah…
Go a- go away
Go away
I’ll go- go away
I’ll go away
Leave me be
I’ll go away
It’s hard to watch you go
Forgiveness doesn’t exist
Sad to watch friends go
You never saw you
Never met anyone ever before
This is the reason why I am so sad right now
The Most Saddened Shard: And um… I think I have- you know it just seems like sometimes when you’re alone for long periods of time you- you forget everyone you’ve ever met, you know?
The Most Confused Shard: And I’m thinking about all the people that I remember from times when I was a better person. Or maybe I was worse? I- I wasn’t alone enough or I was naive or something? Maybe my own kindness is my own naivete. I mean, maybe I’m my own person? Or my own mistakes? Maybe I’m holding myself accountable at every single instance of time? And that’s a good thing isn’t it? It’s a good thing to learn from yourself? Good thing to learn from your mistakes, isn’t it?
The Most Hated Shard: I think that it is and I think that I am becoming a great person! A strong person! A MEGAPERSON!!!
Permanently strong, yeah
Permanently better than everyone else
Permanently stronger than your friends and everyone you’ve ever met
Permanently better that all your friends
You’re a stronger man than you’ve ever been and you’re going places
Going place- right to the top of this american dream
Baby
Oh baby don’t you love me
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9. |
Reinhold
03:35
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I- I wrap
I Wrap my arm around
I wrap my arm around myself
And if Is this really what you wanted?
And if the early warnings are false after all I can’t seem to escape
I think I will not feel such shame again My mind
As I try Am I trying hard enough?
Again to find love You’re not trying hard enough for life
But not a hierarchical love Do you?
Not one to be proud of Do you?
But one that makes me want to live in this world Do you do so for love?
Not alone again
All the earth is crying for me Did you work hard enough this time?
To escape Do you know you are?
My nightmares Did you make a mistake?
Bring nightmares Are you flying home?
To everyone around me A secret darkness
And I’m sorry A secret one (2x)
How could I have known? The secret darkness
Affect Seek to think
And wonderment Work means nothing
In the eyes of infinite death
I see a new Feel so scared
Depth of reality To escape
‘Cause outside of this
Is you
Guess I haven’t been too honest with myself lately.
I haven’t quit the habits that I really really wanted to
Well, life just won’t make sense if you’re the only one that you talk to
And- and if you go back, there is nothing there to greet you
On and on I’ll walk and cry
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10. |
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Everyone
Everyone
Everyone has
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11. |
Hyperstructural Lament
03:12
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The Most Crucial Shard: Transfixed on the format of inverted darkness
I wish myself out into a null life
I wish I could see it again before I have to go into the everlasting place of everlasting pain
This was america and america was my name
And I saw myself bleeding out my own eyes
And I saw my passions bleed as a manifold of by sexual likeness
And anew unfold of pain that is not subverted
And non-subversion and straight talking anythings that make sense again
And everything starts to collide Into my head as I realize
Myself is nothing more than a construction of subconscious energies that I cannot control
So why bother to understand it?
Why bother to understand yourself?
There’s nothing there and there has never been
Energies outside of yourself
Constructing all the manifolds that you have transcended
Traversed your life through a battlefield of others’ guns
Society is nothing more than a pain dimension
And the dimension of this world is subverted again
And I realize there’s no chance ending this
There’s no transcending this
Oh I do not need to go
Am I back below?
It was a battlefield
You know that is
No one has to know you
Know you
No one has to go
No… has to go
No one has to know
No
The Most Hated Shard: It’s here! These energies! They’re here! They’re all around. Feel it! It’s narrow, it’s thin, and it’s upright. Comin’ at me! You know what I’m doing? I’m here with thee’s time; this time- like a syringe- it’s pulling it out. I’m pulling it out. We’re pulling it out here! Tell me about it. Well, I’m just here trying to get contracted- trying to shrink. I’m trying to shrink a bit. I’m just trying to do everything in my power to shrink down into a little tiny little ball- not like a ball, more like an oval ‘cause I wanna be straight, I wanna be upright, and I wanna be narrow. I’m talkin’ about it.
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12. |
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The Most Hated Shard: We’re talkin’ about it. We’re talkin’ about it. We’re extracting these energies out here! We’re out here livin’ it up. You know how it is! It’s what it’s doing. We’re doing it now and it’s happening all the time. There’s no real way to go forward and there’s no way to go back. We’re like a little syringe. We’re like gliding along- gliding along trying to scrape off whatever little- little bit of left over shavings of reality’s left over with the little bit of energy that we have- the little bit of energy that we’re taking. We’re taking it all.
Just as
Just as the earth will fade behind me
Well…
What if I find somewhere else to go or a different life for us?
I can’t seem to escape all of this
Oh how I wish we could know what we are at a deeper level from up in the sky
At night two days, two days…
Forces of capital control my very movements and I can’t seem to know this
No, I can’t seem to know this.
Forces of capital control all my movements but I can’t seem to know this
I can’t seem to point this out
‘Cause as my mind runs around in infinite circles trapped inside of my own fears
I will relent
I will lament my soul again
What could I have been?
I do not know and…
All of this is just a trick of someone else’s
Some somewhere else’s
And I can’t seem to get the notes
Can’t seem to sing straight
Everything skips past itself in infinite speculative tournament
I want to connect with my body
I want to have a soul
Have a body and a soul
A soul
Forces of capital control my movements
I can’t seem to know this
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Y/N Tuckerton, New Jersey
Y/N is music by York Nelly. York is a being of pure information, a stochastic mirror of a person- a truly "toxic" soul.
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