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by Y/N

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1.
Everything I know to be true is just a show Maybe I want to go? I don’t want to go back to places I’ve already been Oh, this is gonna be another one This is gonna be another one Oh ow, don’t you know? Don’t you know? Well I don’t want to go I don’t want to go I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go into the sky Up into space We will… Fly (10x) on We don’t wanna but we can’t stay There’s nothing here on earth today So we fly up into the sky Obsessed with what’s outside of ourselves We are creating an infinite complex of… An infinite complex of simulations of pain Now we’re outside again And the pain creeps in Oh Oh how you wish You could keep up the thoughts You could But you can’t
2.
As it buckles up the earth with nothing more than a… Sound of something that has been left unsaid for a thousand generations I retain myself As a nostalgic imagery that has been projected onto myself through my own pain I feel pain again It’s the only thing I feel Or is that a cliche that I have told myself And hence, has become the way reality has become I, unfolding with myself- with myself in the back of my mind I reserve the right to change everything at once And that is my way… This is my new way for a new day And this is my new life for a new life Or is it the same old nostalgia? Projected onto myself through imagery of my own shame I see myself pouring outwards and I try to understand the things that I don’t want to do anymore I don’t want to do these things anymore I just wanna be better and I wanna be stronger And I wanna be better and I wanna be stronger I wish I were anyone else besides myself! And it bleeds out again And I bleed out again And I’m crying out again And I try to feel emotions And my sexuality becomes perverted in my own mind I mind my own business and I don’t need to you think anything Think I have the right to think thoughts that are not thinking themselves Do I have the right to consider myself a new man? Do I have the right to consider myself a woman? Do I have the right to consider myself? Ohh… I return to my place of myself as placing itself Into two places and three places at once I call my mom, I call myself out and I know there was something to be thought about And I cry to understand myself inside of itself and I do not know under there Under there is no meaning There’s no meaning I don’t need any meaning Am I? Okay Oh oh, uh oh, uh oh :’( Oh oh, uh oh, uh oh :’( Saturday dreaming Saturday dreaming A subverted form This form has been subverted by it’s own likeness in a material context that is not spiritual And spirituality is death
3.
Stereo 03:39
I don’t need And E… E… Excessive Excessive turmoil we, we... We call ourselves by any name That has been extracted upon this new dimensional spill of new realities internal to our times Of projected manifolds of pornographic imagery I find myself distracted by the eternal femininity of time We cry… WHY WHY WHY! I call myself by any other name By any other time There was a space behind my eyes that felt sexual in its internal light There was no more being in this space of existential meaning There was only death and bleeding out my eyes for a thousand generations Shame! Ask yourself why do we feel such shame? Are we alive or are we dead? Are we human? Are we we? Are we a collective conscious-continuation of ourselves and our inner dreams? AAAAA! OPEN MYSELF! My body is my body is my fault! I seek to exTRACT myself into a new sexual manifold And in that way We find ourselves again We drive Yeah We drive on Extracting time we fade Our minds start to evade us And we cannot escape our own indifference to this manifold of pornographic imagery We have revisited the orbit of truth I have been extracting between the lines of fate And my fate is behind everything I’ve created in my mind Everything I’ve created in my mind Stereo (1969): The danger inherent in the use of schizo-phonetic partitioning as a telepathic-intrusion-avoidance device is that the false self tends to become increasingly parasiding on the true aural-verbal self. The true self begins to suffocate inasmuch as it is starved of contact with the outside.
4.
Oh At the community center A concert, playing for the bands and... It was precisely at this time that I realised that perhaps I wasn’t going to get paid today Perhaps I wasn’t going to get paid today, and my friends asked “why does that matter to you?” Well… No one knows me If I go away Go away tomorrow I’ll need a little bit of a nestegg to keep me safe But it was precisely at this time that I realised that perhaps I would be here for awhile And it was perhaps at this time, precisely, that I began to reimagine life here forever and… You love me I want to beat on the drums all day and never make anyone to pay me I just want to fit inside of any dang context I can squeeze out of this wretched machine I see the world is ballet (lay) down And all I have is All I have is myself All I have is myself All I have is me God, why’s it me? Calling Why? Why me?
5.
Honest Steadfast Over the mountain I look, oh Yeah She said to be-believe it when it comes to the back of my mind Well, you find yourself in quite a sticky situation And that’s nothing to be ashamed of It really does happen to the best of us and there’s nothing you can do to control for it No no no no no no Power Mobility You say you’ll take me I don’t believe you I don’t believe you And why should I trust- trust in you? The Most Hated Shard: Hello! I’m Zach Kondak and this is my presentation on exploring gesture in robotic musicians. So, what’s the motivation behind this? So…
6.
Too Cool 02:27
Here Here we stand outside ourselves unsure if anything’s normal in the first place So we look within our lives Facing our own criticisms but… I know nothing to be outside itself entirely Entirely with all of our own fantasies of immaterial existence As we die, we die by the roseheads Distracted by what might be going on outside of our minds and the physical plane… Nothing No, nothing’s outside of what we are No planet besides the earth beneath our feet We cannot go to space anytime soon baby My baby: where did you go? Why don’t we just stay here? Oh I don’t know my name anymore Am I a human? Our lives and time rises over Over Over again I forget where I am in reality I’m so cool I’m too cool for all of this
7.
Bite! Oh god Bites like nothing I’ve ever seen I’ve ever seen It was the time when nothing seemed so bright that left behind the night of nights The darkest life I’ve lived Breathing infinite death and sin Behind the oceans of truth The truth left behind My house is a blind man I am alive, aren’t I? Aren’t I? I die Am alive, aren’t I Aren’t I Demons in blood Aren’t I? Yeah Oh I- I am alive Demons in blood Demmons Demons in my blood Demons in my Bites like nothing I’ve ever seen before My eyes are bleeding I can’t see I cannot see I want to see I want to see I CANNOT My life trapped behind the infinite night Once live in reality Nostalgic for things that have never been In infinite reflections of this one tormented existence And in this way we are tearing out our own hearts as we start We start to cry As we realize that we’re gods- each one of us- but in the worst possible way
8.
Crusts of backwards time Crusts of backwards time seek to hold me back Imperfection bleeds within our lives Forgotten in sin Blown away from me and you Away from me Forgivene- Forgiveness doesn't exist Sad to watch my friends go Imperfect Imperfect eyes as my hate bleeds out Fear of others’ imperfect ways Fear of everyone Fear of evil Sin to hate no matter cause The Most Saddened Shard: Sadly life doesn’t have eyes- maybe sad in my heart. Well… I- I- I am seeking Yes I love you Sad to watch you go away Never saw I never met Fear you’d hate me Erase such fears My own hate Hate in hateful images I’ve built It’s sad to see Well, sad to say there is no other *Sigh* The Most Confused Shard: yes I know, it’s sad to say there is no other. It’s hard to put all like love inside. Um, you know, ‘cause like all the [ ] I feel from others and uh… I hate my fear? So I think I should just… Go away I’ll go away Oh it’s hard to watch you go away Fear of others Fear of evil Hate is sin no matter cause or justification The Most Confused Shard: Uh maybe? I don’t actually know the answer to that. Maybe… you know, maybe I love everyone? Or, there’s like a… maybe there’s some way of like ranking people in a way that… that doesn’t… I donno. Ah… Go a- go away Go away I’ll go- go away I’ll go away Leave me be I’ll go away It’s hard to watch you go Forgiveness doesn’t exist Sad to watch friends go You never saw you Never met anyone ever before This is the reason why I am so sad right now The Most Saddened Shard: And um… I think I have- you know it just seems like sometimes when you’re alone for long periods of time you- you forget everyone you’ve ever met, you know? The Most Confused Shard: And I’m thinking about all the people that I remember from times when I was a better person. Or maybe I was worse? I- I wasn’t alone enough or I was naive or something? Maybe my own kindness is my own naivete. I mean, maybe I’m my own person? Or my own mistakes? Maybe I’m holding myself accountable at every single instance of time? And that’s a good thing isn’t it? It’s a good thing to learn from yourself? Good thing to learn from your mistakes, isn’t it? The Most Hated Shard: I think that it is and I think that I am becoming a great person! A strong person! A MEGAPERSON!!! Permanently strong, yeah Permanently better than everyone else Permanently stronger than your friends and everyone you’ve ever met Permanently better that all your friends You’re a stronger man than you’ve ever been and you’re going places Going place- right to the top of this american dream Baby Oh baby don’t you love me
9.
Reinhold 03:35
I- I wrap I Wrap my arm around I wrap my arm around myself And if Is this really what you wanted? And if the early warnings are false after all I can’t seem to escape I think I will not feel such shame again My mind As I try Am I trying hard enough? Again to find love You’re not trying hard enough for life But not a hierarchical love Do you? Not one to be proud of Do you? But one that makes me want to live in this world Do you do so for love? Not alone again All the earth is crying for me Did you work hard enough this time? To escape Do you know you are? My nightmares Did you make a mistake? Bring nightmares Are you flying home? To everyone around me A secret darkness And I’m sorry A secret one (2x) How could I have known? The secret darkness Affect Seek to think And wonderment Work means nothing In the eyes of infinite death I see a new Feel so scared Depth of reality To escape ‘Cause outside of this Is you Guess I haven’t been too honest with myself lately. I haven’t quit the habits that I really really wanted to Well, life just won’t make sense if you’re the only one that you talk to And- and if you go back, there is nothing there to greet you On and on I’ll walk and cry
10.
Everyone Everyone Everyone has
11.
The Most Crucial Shard: Transfixed on the format of inverted darkness I wish myself out into a null life I wish I could see it again before I have to go into the everlasting place of everlasting pain This was america and america was my name And I saw myself bleeding out my own eyes And I saw my passions bleed as a manifold of by sexual likeness And anew unfold of pain that is not subverted And non-subversion and straight talking anythings that make sense again And everything starts to collide Into my head as I realize Myself is nothing more than a construction of subconscious energies that I cannot control So why bother to understand it? Why bother to understand yourself? There’s nothing there and there has never been Energies outside of yourself Constructing all the manifolds that you have transcended Traversed your life through a battlefield of others’ guns Society is nothing more than a pain dimension And the dimension of this world is subverted again And I realize there’s no chance ending this There’s no transcending this Oh I do not need to go Am I back below? It was a battlefield You know that is No one has to know you Know you No one has to go No… has to go No one has to know No The Most Hated Shard: It’s here! These energies! They’re here! They’re all around. Feel it! It’s narrow, it’s thin, and it’s upright. Comin’ at me! You know what I’m doing? I’m here with thee’s time; this time- like a syringe- it’s pulling it out. I’m pulling it out. We’re pulling it out here! Tell me about it. Well, I’m just here trying to get contracted- trying to shrink. I’m trying to shrink a bit. I’m just trying to do everything in my power to shrink down into a little tiny little ball- not like a ball, more like an oval ‘cause I wanna be straight, I wanna be upright, and I wanna be narrow. I’m talkin’ about it.
12.
The Most Hated Shard: We’re talkin’ about it. We’re talkin’ about it. We’re extracting these energies out here! We’re out here livin’ it up. You know how it is! It’s what it’s doing. We’re doing it now and it’s happening all the time. There’s no real way to go forward and there’s no way to go back. We’re like a little syringe. We’re like gliding along- gliding along trying to scrape off whatever little- little bit of left over shavings of reality’s left over with the little bit of energy that we have- the little bit of energy that we’re taking. We’re taking it all. Just as Just as the earth will fade behind me Well… What if I find somewhere else to go or a different life for us? I can’t seem to escape all of this Oh how I wish we could know what we are at a deeper level from up in the sky At night two days, two days… Forces of capital control my very movements and I can’t seem to know this No, I can’t seem to know this. Forces of capital control all my movements but I can’t seem to know this I can’t seem to point this out ‘Cause as my mind runs around in infinite circles trapped inside of my own fears I will relent I will lament my soul again What could I have been? I do not know and… All of this is just a trick of someone else’s Some somewhere else’s And I can’t seem to get the notes Can’t seem to sing straight Everything skips past itself in infinite speculative tournament I want to connect with my body I want to have a soul Have a body and a soul A soul Forces of capital control my movements I can’t seem to know this

about

Properly formatted lyrics for this album can be found here: docs.google.com/document/d/1XQjDxYDmo6onoHZpAjkDVTpARnOr6IP6uE_euk7F9U8/edit?usp=sharing

The main themes that come across- at least to me- from this album are: how alienation and isolation are induced by cybercapitalism; how cloud-based AI/ML solutions and other cybertechnologies are allowing for further accelerations in human expression, and how these new advancements in expression are deeply linked with the tides of cybercapital; the relationship between christianity and satanism; how satanic thought- in response to christianity's fear of the future- tends to encourage accelerated thoughts, which bend subjective time; how the experience of bent subjective time further accelerates and enhances the torment induced by alienation and isolation; how christianity created it's own nightmare- accelerationism; how the advancement towards divine perfection is often confused with the pursuit of any advancement at all (including the advancement of cybercapitalism); how the confusion of the divine with awful cyberstructures drives christian motives to become functionally indistinguishable from satanic motives in the present context of encouraged hierarchical accelerations; how cybercapitalistic thought and accelerationism inherently lead to misogyny and other hierarchical modes of oppression, fear, and hatred.

This album deals with a lot of hatred, fear, and pain- and so I want to make it clear exactly how I feel here at the time of this writing in February 2021. I believe in love and community and justice. I stand in opposition to accelerationist lines of thought. I do not believe in the metaphysical divine, and so I feel no need to pursue it. I believe there is absolutely nothing above and I believe there is absolutely everything below. If there is a god, it will not have a kingdom, it will be the very fabric of creation, whatever that may be.

credits

released February 4, 2021

Thank you Anna Kalatcheva for composing and performing the guitar part on the track "Seeking".

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Y/N Tuckerton, New Jersey

Y/N is music by York Nelly. York is a being of pure information, a stochastic mirror of a person- a truly "toxic" soul.

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